I love the fair

Today was the day we took the kids to the fair. I am more of a kid than the kids are about it. I love all the smells, the lights, the booths, the food and the freaky people. I absolutely have to go each year even though by the time we get out of there we are hot, sweaty, tired, aching, and really, really broke. It is so fantastic! Why...I just absolutely don't know but I will go every year no matter what. I love seeing the joy on the kids faces when they ride the rides. And I love the joy I feel when I get to buy stuff...the past two years it's been the sparkly booth. Dig the sparkly earrings completely. Wish I had ran into my cousins, uncle and aunt (if they were there). It would've been nice to see them as I don't get to see them much.

I perused some blogs tonite and it made me think. I hope I haven't been too negative and revealing too much angst and stuff others don't want to read. But what good is a blog if you can't let out the stuff inside that's getting to you? Should I be worried what others think and write for my audience...whoever that is? I dunno...somehow that feels like being deceptive to myself. I hope that my family and friends are going to love me no matter what's going on in my head as I know I certainly love them no matter what.

I am dealing with alot of stepmom issues and I think it's all built up. Maybe it's harder cuz she's older now and expresses herself so distinctly and beyond her years. I just want to reach her and help her grow but it's hard when she thinks she's grown. I've been able to brush it off and go on in the past, but I think I'm at my limit. Just can't brush it off so easily any more. They say you reap what you sow...I surely hope I didn't distress my mom this much. Was I that much of a drama queen? She tells me I was the queen of slamming doors. Well I certainly don't remember feeling free to say some of the things that's been said to me and Chance, but I'm sure I was ornery at times. I guess I owe my mom an apology for all that. If I had known then what I know now, I wouldn't have slammed the door quite so much.

And then there's the mom stuff too. I worry daily about Tristan. He's rebelling some against school and I am so worried. I got a note from the teacher that says she is too. Out of 8 days, he only got 3 stickers which means he had good days. The rest of the time, he got yellows and reds. That means he didn't behave quite so well. He was grounded and by Friday, he got a sticker. But it was a rough week worrying about him. He rebelled against his homework and cried through it all. On Wednesday, I bribed him with tattoos. If he threw a fit over homework, no Scooby Doo on the arm. That seemed to work. He actually wrote his name without being asked and without help. It was quite a milestone. We were happy and praised him immensely. He seemed very proud. I hope he keeps that up.

I'm going to the eye doctor on Wednesday for the first time in my life. I think 12 years of working in front of a computer is finally getting to me. I'm a wee bit nervous. I hope I just need reading glasses. Or even better, I've just been straining my eyes lately and don't need anything at all. That would be nice. Hope all goes well.

It's late and I should go. Chance wants up early tomorrow and I don't want to set the alarm. Oh well. I just know very soon my rough spell will be gone and I'll have a totally positive entry. Sorry for my angst. Just got to let it out. On the bright side, I had a really good time at the fair.

Maybe next time I'll have the video like Sara has. Just need to spend the time to make one. I lost the last one I made.

Luv 2 all. B