Checking in...

I had a near death experience on Saturday on my way to work. It was really scary and I know that someone was watching over me. Without boring you with the details, basically the bozo in front of me stopped in the middle lane of a highway cuz he missed his exit. He just sat there and I couldn't move. Cars were coming up behind me at 80 mph and almost wrecked trying to avoid hitting us. I was never so scared in my life. I screamed at the top of my lungs. I don't know how we all got through that without getting hurt. So, yea, my prayers have multiplied tremendously since then. Things are in perspective. I guess I was at a point that I needed a good thorough reorganization of priorities. Definitely got the message.

When I got to work, I was trembling and then was told I had to give two 20 minute presentations. Here's the powerpoint, you have about 15 minutes to figure out what you are going to say. Luckily I had to shove my fears aside and get to work. It helped but it's stayed with me and won't be going away any time soon.

Tristan started his IEP (individualized education plan) about 3 weeks ago. I hope he is doing well, but it's scary when you see his homework go backwards in learning level. On the bright side, we have no problems getting through homework as he is confident and can figure most of it out on his own. His papers have smiley faces and he gets good grades. I think his confidence is increasing. I am praying each week that he catches up. For the first time this year, he got all smiley faces on his behavior card. He got a prize for that like I promised. We now have SpongeBob operation game. He was every excited. We have begun playing board games on a more regular basis and he seems to be loving it.

Taylor is still doing well in school. Her best friend, Ariane, is in a family planning class or some sort of Home Economics course and she had to be a mother for a weekend. Let me tell you, they sure have come a long way from carrying eggs around as was the case when I was in high school. She had a computerized doll that was linked to a bracelet she had to wear all weekend. She could not be separated from her baby or the teacher would know. We had plans to take the girls to see a movie and the haunted house downtown. So, we had to take the baby. (My sister-in-law offered to baby sit but she could not be separated from it.) It cries to be fed and have its diaper changed. It had two diapers with pads and it knew when the appropriate diaper was on. You couldn't let its head fall backwards or it would let out a blood curdling scream. When it ate, it made slurping sounds. It would giggle. While we were in line for the haunted house, we had to feed it. So we realized we would have to change it in the house. (It takes about 30 minutes to go through it.) And we did. We walked all around bricktown and we sure did get stares. What is that young girl doing with a baby and one of another race at that?! It was really funny to see the stares. You sure can see how many people judge first before knowing the whole story. It was a definite learning experience for all of us. That baby cried all night. My mommy ears turned on every time but the girls took care of it. Ariane seem pleased and thought it was all fun. I told her that it needed one other feature to make it more realistic...it needed to poop and puke. Then she might not have thought it was so fun! LOL

Chance is working off and on. He's still worried about everything. I enrolled him in a computer course at work. I am hoping he will stay enrolled and I can get him through some college. He needs some confidence that he can hit the books too.

I have been thoroughly enjoying my Leadership class. We have our third meeting on Friday. We had our first at the OKC Art Museum and I got to see the Roman exhibit from the Louvre. That was freakin awesome!!! I learned so much. We had a guided tour and other people followed our tour around to learn about the pieces. I don't know if I will ever make it to see the Louvre in person, but now I can say I've seen at least part of it. They actually come and place the pieces for the exhibit when they send those around. We learned how they were shipped and boxed and everything. Fascinating. I would never would have seen that exhibit if it hadn't been for the leadership class. We also saw the Chihuly glass exhibition. That was awesome too. All hand blown and he only has one eye. It was absolutely beautiful. Here's a link: http://www.okcmoa.com/exhibitions/dalechihuly-theexhibition Here's a direct link to his website: http://www.chihuly.com/ You can see some of his glass stuff on that. I highly recommend you visit the museum to see it.

Our second meeting was held at the OK History Museum. That was interesting too. Got to see alot of native american history which was my favorite. We did not have much time or a guided tour, so I did not get to see much. But the curator of the museum, gave us a wonderful presentation about one of the artists and tied it to a leadership lesson. It was very interesting. The table in the conference room was gigantic and wooden and modeled after a feather. It was made in that room for the board of directors and it is too big to be removed from the room. Beautiful is all I can say.

I am learning about leadership too. We have speakers and bonding activities to reflect upon at the end of the day. I am so glad I applied for the program. I wish I could attend all the classes in the future too! They do tell us we will be involved with class II so we will see.

Still haven't worked on that paper. I owe about $10,000 to the library right now for all the books I still have. I just can't get to writing it. I don't want to. Really, just don't want to. I need some motivation to sit down and do it. I just can't. I feel like the little guy lost in the desert who is crawling for water. He see it over the hill and then it's an illusion. I see my written paper but when I get ready to crawl, I cramp up. Ugh.

And then there's Weight Watchers. So I learned alot, but found it increasingly difficult to keep going each week and talk about food. I have never talked about food so much in my life. It was so repetitive. I got the picture and learned how to eat properly. I have the books and the points calculator and even the WW scale. But going to those meetings just were not my thing. And my problem has never really been overeating (which they talk about alot). My problem is eating properly. Putting back that chocolate and for heaven's sake, those dang cokes. So, I made a big decision to take that monthly fee and apply it to a gym membership. I found an all women's gym that is open 24/7. I absolutely love it!!!! I joined on October 1. I have been trying to go 3 times a week. I do 30 - 40 minutes on the treadmill (I can actually go longer than that but try to keep my time away from home down) and then I do weights for another 30 minutes. I am being careful with my back. They also have classes, tanning and massage chairs that are all included in the monthly fee. NO contracts or anything. I can pay for whichever month I want without penalty. But of course, I'm automatically deducting. I can't even begin to tell you how good it feels to work out again. This has been better than any WW. I gained some of my weight back before I joined the gym and I really haven't been super attempting to count points or anything. Just been eating regular. So my weight has maintained. But I can feel my body shifting around. The exercise is working. Did I tell you how much I love it???? I so do!!! I didn't get to go 3 times last week but hopefully I can stay on schedule this week. I plan to go back on Thursday but there is an evening work event. I don't really want to go but if I get asked, I may have to. Hoping that doesn't happen.

Well I guess I will stop for now. I need to check my class and try to grade some. I am pretty worn out tonight. Work has been crazy.

Looking forward to Caden's party and the holidays. Can't wait to see everyone. I see potato salad....Yummmmmmmm!

I got some news today...

I had planned to write tonight before I read that I was in trouble with Beth, so I guess I had good intentions.

Well I didn't get that job. I didn't really think I would but it was one of those things I had to do for appearances sake. I would've liked the steadier hours and the higher pay, but I am not sure I would've really loved the whole job. I really only wanted part of it. So, although I am somewhat disappointed I am OK. I told myself if it was meant to be, it would happen. Alas, it was not. My good friend got it.

Even though that didn't happen, something else good did. That leadership program I mentioned last time I wrote...I found out today that I got accepted. I was so shocked. I am not sure how many people applied, but there were only 16 people in the whole college who got accepted. I am pretty thrilled. Kinda nervous but thrilled. Even better, is I'm pretty good friends with some of the people who also got accepted. My orientation is on the 11th...we get to go to a fancy restaurant in Bricktown that I've never been able to afford to go to (Nonna's). We get our binders, a small speech from the president, dinner, and then a social afterwards. I'm not too thrilled about the social but I guess I have to suck it up and go. The next day, Friday, we spend our day at the OK Museum of Art. I have never been there so that is really exciting. We have to do the Myer's Briggs personality test and some teambuilding stuff, but we also get to tour the museum. Yay!!! They will provide us breakfast, lunch, and can't remember about dinner but we do have another social hour after 5:00. I am beyond stunned. This program will last until April. It is mandatory I participate and my boss has to allow me the time to do it. I will have homework between each workshop. This week I have to write my own biography with pretty specific information. I don't think mine is going to be very fancy. Last time I did any community service work was when I coached Taylor's cheer squad. That's not too leadership like for this program. I also have to fill out the MB test for our evaluation at the workshop. I didn't think I would be this excited but I really am. I needed something good to happen to me. This year has really sucked.

It pained me greatly, but I dropped my class for this semester. Mostly for financial reasons. I still am paying off spring. Dang OU is expensive!!! Glad I pay resident tuition! Also, I haven't finished my paper and I really need to make sure I get that done. I am teaching 3 classes this semester. I'm teaching 2 right now and the third will start in October. I figure with all that going on, it is best to wait until spring.

After not getting the job, I have been thinking about what I want to be when I grow up...AGAIN. I still freaking don't know. On the one hand, I am excited to pursue my Masters in Adult and Higher Ed. It's what I've done for the past 14 years. But I am not sure about the opportunity for mobility. I like the area I'm in and I'm not really interested outside of it. But maybe I will be someday... What I have been thinking about is possibly getting an alternative certification for teaching. I would like to teach first, second or third grade. Always have wanted to since I was a kid. But, I just don't know if I would be patient with it. I hear the parents are the hardest to deal with. I deal with them now but I can tell them to go away because their kid is a grown up and they don't have rights to ask! Anyway, I'm thinking. If I do it, I will probably go back to UCO and take some undergrad courses there. I wouldn't want to start just with taking that test. I would really prepare myself better than that. So, I'm thinking....

Chance has been going crazy. Business is really slow with these dang gas prices. He had a minor melt down the other nite and was expressing his dislike for becoming a housewife. Fall flowers start in a few weeks and he has a potential big job in the works. It has felt like winter time for me...the house is spotless and the laundry stays done. I really like having a housewife personally. As long as he keeps his paycheck coming in it works for me!!! LOL

Taylor is really liking high school. I am so excited about that. We don't have access to the parent portal yet, and I am anxious to see her grades. She got an A on her biology test. She loves her spanish class and the teacher. Her biology teacher is the football coach. She seems to be doing her homework. I have a big smile on my face just thinking about it.

Tristan is touch and go with school. His IEP hasn't started and I am really unhappy about that. I have already sent an "inquiry" about it and spoken with the IEP teacher. Waited a week for the next step and she never called me. I will be bothering them again next week. They are going to hate me until they get him in that program. It took us all year to get him to qualify for it and now they are dragging their feet. I think I'm going to be "that" mom if they don't watch out. I am trying to find my inner chi (is that how you spell it?). OOOOHHHHHMMMMM.....

We are going to Chance's dad's tomorrow to watch the game. We haven't seen them in a while, so it should be fun. Wow. I just thought...Phil must be excited to get better access to the games soon!

Vega is now 52 pounds. We are really days away from getting her fixed. That excites me greatly. Chance just needs to make the appointment before he gets too busy with work. My little girl is going to be woman soon! I'm not sure I've ever had a dog quite like her. She's certainly not the sharpest crayon in the box. Good thing she's cute.

I've been having a high school reunion on facebook lately. My HS Pom coach found me and then several other classmates. It's been quite fun. I can't believe I'm talking to some of these people. And the girls don't really look older. That is amazing.

I am really sad that I had to miss the family dinner. I would've loved to have seen everyone. But August is my super busy month...we are open 12 hours a day. Tristan needs special routines at nite for school. It just wasn't a good time for us. I will make every effort to make the next family event. I really wanted to see Tara...it's been forever. And that Jonah... he's so cute! I didn't get to hold him last time I saw him. I am excited to know that I will get to see Phil and Jackie more often very soon. Hopefully, that will mean Chara, Josh and Jonah too. Yay!!! I love you all!

Well this is yet another long Brandee post. I hope I haven't bored you to tears and I hope I have appeased Beth. I so hate to upset her. Hasta luego dudes!

Been a long time

I can't believe how long it's been since I've written. Not sure I have much to say. The blogging bug has been sleeping.

I've been back to work full-time since my last shot (the last week of May). It was hard going back and it was busy. Had lots of stuff to catch up on and had to wait out a certain amount of time for everyone to not be mad at me. It's really busy again - August is closing in. I have a lot on my plate and it's been stressful.

I bit the bullet and applied for a job a step above where I am now. I would actually be assistant boss to the peeps that are my peers now. (I'll tell ya the title if I get it.) I totally blew the interview. It really stressed me out and made me nervous. My presentation sucked. Seriously, I let my nerves get the best of me. Why in the hell do I do that????? AAAHHH! The only thing I have going for me is that I have been there so long and have "all the knowledge" as everyone tells me. Well 2 of my co-workers also applied and they could very easily beat me out even though I've got tons more years in. So, I'm just waiting. I interviewed yesterday. The only good thing about the past three days is I lost 3 pounds since Tuesday just over the stress of the interview. I truly am stupid!!! But I'll take the loss.

Tristan fell down outside today and cut his earlobe wide open. The cut is so odd and in such a strange place that all the nurses and another doctor had to come in and look at it. They said it was really strange he didn't have one other scratch on him. But it was deep so now he has about 4 or 5 stitches in him. He won't get to swim at Caden's house tomorrow but he is excited to show off his battle wound.

We took the kids to Arbuckle Wilderness last week. I am not sure it was worth the money since almost all the walk-in stuff was closed or simply didn't exist. I felt sorry for some of the animals in the walk-in area. No water or food. It was 100 degrees and 2 of the animals were very pregnant. I couldn't look. The drive through really hadn't approved since we were last there 4 or 5 years ago. I dunno. They really need to do some major work there. I wish I had tons of money. I would donate. I think we'll try the tiger place in Winnewood next time.

I have gained weight since I went back to work. So, that has depressed me some. I am not following the plan like I should but I remain aware of what to do and not do. The Brandee plan is not as good as the WW plan.

The puppy is getting so big. She's a mess. Very cute but a mess. I can't wait til the puppy stage is over. We can get her fixed in September. She'll be 6 months old then. She's already half the size of Leia. I hope she doesn't get as big as I think she will. We really don't have room for a horse in this house. She's doing much better around the other animals. If she's in a playful mood she annoys the crap out of them. But they can hang around all right. She can't be loose in the house yet but she's getting closer.

I still haven't finished my paper for my class. I start my next semester the week of August 25. Somehow I knew this would happen.

I am also applying for a leadership program at work. They are only taking 16 people so I probably won't get in this time. But I gotta try.

Tristan's summer school is over next week. Yay. We've had to make mom and dad pick him up every day. I bet they are ready to save on gas.

So ... um.... can't think of much else. If I do, I'll write again. Not so exciting stuff. Later.

Normal

Well, things are finally feeling normal again. I worked part time last week and it was nice doing something regular and normal. I had my second shot last Wednesday and they seem to really help. There are actually little bits of time I don't think about pain. I sometimes get overly agressive trying to do normal things on my leg or bending and I get a strong reminder I'm not 100%. So I still have to try to be careful. My final shot is this Wednesday, and I am hoping it will relieve even more.

I go back to work full-time tomorrow. A bit nervous about it as sitting in the office chair still hurts. But I am going to persevere.

While I was down, I didn't give much thought to my diet. I only had pain on my mind. I was sad I couldn't go to WW on Sunday's but it just wasn't feasible. I went last week for the first time on my own. The week before that (Mother's Day) Chance drove me just to weigh. I was pleasantly surprised to find that I had lost 6 pounds when he took me. Last week I lost another 2.2. That is a total of 18.2 pounds all together! It made me happy.

Last week after returning to work and a crazy schedule, I ate out alot. That meant way more fast food than I had had in a long time. Well I knew this week would be a gainer. I thought 2 pounds at least but it was only 0.6 pounds. I was proud that even though I had awful food, I still tried to make it not so bad. I guess it worked. 0.6 is way better than 2!

I could tell that I had lost some...all my shorts and capris I bought last summer (because everything was getting old and tight), now fall off me. I don't even have to unzip them. Most of my slacks are getting loose too. So today I thought, why not measure myself since I hadn't in many weeks and I had such a good loss going on. I got happy again.

I lost another 2 inches in my waist for 4.5 inches total. I lost 1 inch in my hips - 3 inches total. I lost 3/4 inch in my thigh for a total of 2 inches. My arms remain the same at a one inch loss. That was really nice to see!!! I'm feeling a surge of progress and I think it will make it easier for me as I go back to work and lunch with the girls.

I didn't get to swim as much as I hoped today. Oh well, I will get to next weekend. I can't "submerge" in water after the shot. I hope I didn't do anything bad by getting in a bit today...

Well, I don't really have much to say today. Just wanted to post my inches lost. Later...

Stupid way to burn up your expensive gas...

So today is the first day after my first shot. My goal was to get up, drive the car to Tristan's school, sit in a chair and watch his awards assembly, drive to the doctor office to drop off my FMLA forms, drive home and then try to sit as much as possible, either at the computer or upright in any other chair. I'm trying to gauge my tolerance level so I can get back to work. Well, let me tell you how my morning really went...

Of course we are running late as usual. I haven't had to get up early for a month and half now so I wasn't too speedy getting me and Tristan ready. We rush to school and get there right at 8:30 when the bell is ringing. We park in the street and he starts getting out before I'm ready for him to. I'm grabbing stuff, telling him to stand on the curb and wait on me. I'm rushing thinking that I'm causing him to be tardy. We run in the building to find they are not giving tardies as it's assembly day. I sign in and go to the cafeteria to wait the 15 minutes for the assembly to start. Great program...he got a reading award. I go in his room and hug him and so forth. Start going out to my car about 9:25 and can't find my keys. Oh no! Must've left them on the table. No not there. Not in the prinicpal's office or my purse or my pants. Hmmm... guess I left them in my car. Crap!! I go outside and as I approach the car I think, "I hear a car running. Oh surely not!!!" But yes, yes. It was my car. Running and locked up. For the past hour.

I call Chance. He says there's no way he can get there. It would cost too much. More than a locksmith. Gives me a number to call. Call it, tell them what an idiot I am and I find they are in OKC. He says no way he can get anyone there. So I get referred. Referred again. And finally referred to Johnny...told to tell him Christina had me call. He says he can be there in 20 minutes. So I stand outside and wait. All the other parents are coming in and staring at me. I'm just standing outside my running car. I'm an idiot. After about 30 minutes, I am worried he can't find me but he calls. He's lost and after about 10 minutes, I get him to me. He takes about 2 minutes to get my car open. Says he wants cash only. I don't have cash. So luckily he has wireless credit card machine. Costs me $5.00 extra. I wonder if he would've locked my car back up if he didn't have that wireless card machine. I didn't ask. Was just grateful to get in my car. I note I am a dumb a$$.

I get on the road, my leg a little sore from standing all that time, but overall not as painful as driving usually is. I'm happy. Get to Dr. Bever's office (my primary care Dr.) and explain my situation and that I need my FMLA papers filled out. She tells me it's $35 but she says I really should go to the spine specialist since he has the details of what is going on. I say OK...just doing what my HR office told me to do. Drive further on to Dr. Wright's office. Get in there and she says it's only $10 (yay!) but it takes 7 - 10 working days and they only accept cash. Seriously? Not even the debit card which is the same? No. Cash. OK. I'll go to the ATM. Drive down the street to get it and go back. She is very helpful and takes my stuff.

By this time I am exhausted ... I haven't had much physical activity for a while. But overall, I'm feeling good with lower levels of pain. I drive all the way home and I'm happy. I get home after 11 and get to eat finally. Yay. I lay down and snooze a while inbetween fighting off the puppy from wanting to chew on me and everything else in the house. She is an absolute mess. I'm only able to write this cuz she's asleep. It's absolutely like having a baby around.

So...that's what happened. I met all my goals, it just took me a while to get there. I'm writing this in my big office chair trying to see how long I can sit here. Well I have to leave in a bit to get Taylor, Ashley and Tristan from school. But that will be another test of pain.

I was surprised at how easy the shot was. I had heard so many stories of how painful they are but that they are worth it. I guess they gave me good drugs. I dunno. But it was really a strange experience. He puts in the medicine and I feel pressure/pain in my lower back. I let out a small ouch, he says hold on and I'll give you a break. Then he says, OK, putting in some more. This time, I feel it in my butt where I have tons of pain. The exact spot. Freaky. I moan again. He says ok take a break. He tells me he's only putting in 1 cc at a time. Guess that's a small amount but it sure felt like a lot! He does it a few more times and each time, I feel my main pain points get pressure...my thigh and my calf too. It was freaky how it found all the places I have been hurting. It was over in a matter of minutes. I couldn't believe it. I will be able to handle the others no problem. I am sore where they put the needles in and I was kinda funky yesterday. But overall not as traumatic as I thought. I think these things are going to fix me!!!! I am so happy!!!!! If I am not at work tomorrow, I plan to go on Monday. I am very excited.

School is out on Wednesday so we have to plan for schedule changes for the kids. Taylor goes to her mom's every other week and Tristan will be spending all day at daycare. In July, he will attend summer school.

Taylor gets her driving permit on the 27th and then will start her driving with the man from driver's ed. She's excited. I am too. I will have a chauffeur.

Tristan was recommended to stay back in first grade. But then his teacher told me that the IEP lady, the principal and her decided he should go to 2nd grade as long as he spends a minimum of 3 hours per day with the IEP lady. I had to deny the recommendation on paper, but they tell me they can get him to 2nd grade level by 2nd semester. I am taking their word for it. I hope it doesn't backfire in my face. Tristan is excited. After watching him with his classmates today, I am glad. He is so much bigger than they are. He would look so funny with those smaller kids if he was held back. I hope it works. He seems to understand what is going on. I hope to work with him alot over the summer.

Chance has been having better days. He's still wearing the monitor. He hates it. But he's making some diet changes, taking new vitamins and trying really hard to prevent episodes. His work is keeping him really busy. They are behind right now cuz of all our medical issues.

Well I have to go now to get the kids. I hope to write again soon. Until next time... gosh I'm an idiot!!!

Updates

Well, I read Beth's blog and I am one of the people she's talking to. Yes, I've been busy and the past couple of weeks, I've been broken.

Spring break came and went really fast. Taylor's surgery went fine. She did really well and didn't have any complications afterwards. It only complicated our pocket book! LOL She opted to not try out for Pom and will do dance. She has driving school this weekend. She is very excited. We are nervous! LOL

Tristan got diagnosed with ADD so he can get an a IEP at school. We are trying the non-medicated route. We just can't put him on meds. He is not an extreme case but he desperately needs help at school. At this point I am waiting on the school to tell me what they are doing to help him.

Chance is finally out there working. They are really busy and it looks like it's going to be a good season. We got our taxes done on time. We went expecting to have to pay tons of money - last year we had to pay close to $6,000. We were plesantly surprised that we get money back. That was a major relief!!!!

Me, I've been really stressed with keeping up with work, teaching and school. I am so behind on life right now. I really feel like crying. I still haven't finished my research paper - I am two weeks behind my deadline and my poor class is waiting on several weeks of grading. You see, I got sick a couple of weeks ago. I woke up on a Saturday with a urinary tract infection. Never had one in my life...still not sure how you get em. It was painful and lasted longer than most people's. Not sure why. Had to go to the doctor 3 times. I keep having alot of blood in my urine. Finally got cleared up with that after a week but my back kept hurting. So this Monday when I went to the doctor for my last urine test, I told him what had been going on. He said that something else was definitely wrong and set up an MRI for me.

Tuesday was my big day I have been living for for 5 months. Chance got me tickets to Bon Jovi and Daughtry for Christmas. Bon Jovi is one of my favorite bands...it's no secret Jon Bon Jovi makes me melt. So I have been counting down the days. Tristan got sick and I kept him home on Tuesday. That afternoon, I got in the shower and bent over to shave the old hairy legs. Well, I felt some pulling and popping in my tailbone and that was it. My back was out. I stood in the shower bawling and bawling. My big day and I broke myself. I could hardly move. The pain was unreal. I cried all day wondering how I was going to make it. You see, I was going no matter what. I was NOT missing that concert.

Well I called my sister-in-law Heather. She was taking her stepdaughter Amanda - it was also Amanda's Christmas present. I asked her if she would drive me and Taylor because I was not safe to drive. So she said of course. So I put ice on my back for about 2 hours til I was so numb I couldn't feel anything and I took all my pain meds. I took the bottle with me. Found out I could take my camera to the concert. That made me very happy. The car ride to and from was excruciating. Standing is a bit better than sitting. I walked slow but made it through. I stood till I couldn't stand and then sat till i couldn't sit anymore. Luckily they had big screens way up high so I could still see when I sat down. We had floor tickets.

I made it through but I have been in bed ever since. I haven't been on the computer at all. I finally can sit in bed better so I have plugged up the laptop to see what is going on. I am going to try to grade. At least here I can lay down and look at the screen! LOL

Had my MRI today. Have my pictures but I have no idea what is wrong. Some of the little disk thingys are skinny and some are fat. That's all I can tell. They tell me my doctor will get a report and if I have to go to an orthopedic surgeon, I need to take my pictures with me. I plan to call tomorrow to see how long this process is going to take. I have not been at work and I hear my coworkers are peeved at me. They are mad I went to the concert but have not been at work. Well I would gladly exchange the pain for busy days at work, let me tell you. I should not have gone to the concert but I did. It was my present and meant alot to me. I have leave and I am sorry it happened. But I certainly didn't plan it. I am doing what I can to fix it and get back to work.

So here I sit in bed. Writing away and I should be grading. I guess that's all I know for now. I will write again when I find out what is wrong with me and if I am going to flunk my class. I sure hope not.

I concur with Beth. I like to read what is going on with everyone. Makes me happy.

:o)

SPRING BREAK!!!!!

I thought this day would never come. I am so happy. I have a week off and I can relax. Well other than a few plans about every other day, I can. How blessed I am to get an entire week off with pay without having to use my leave.

We saw Jumper tonight. Interesting movie. I think I would like to have that ability. Feeling a bit blue? Just concentrate real hard and I will find myself on the beach in Hawaii or on a photo safari in Africa. Yeah, I could deal with that.

Just been working and schooling and being a mom since last time I wrote. During one of the last big wind storms, the back part of our fence blew down. The dog thought that was really neat but we sure didn't. So, Chance had to go to Lowe's and replace it all. He decided to replace the front parts too. He spent two full days putting it all up by himself. He never calls friends or family to help for some reason. He was very sore and tired, let me tell you. Our fence was a bit crooked before it fell, so Chance decided to straighten it when he put it back in. He dug the post hole a bit deeper and then bam! Busted our gas pipe. No wonder our fence was not straight. Why in the world they put it on the gas pipe is beyond me. Anyway, they came to fix it but seemed to be bothered he hadn't called Okie before digging. He didn't think he had to to dig in an already existing hole. Next time we will know. So far, no bills from it....keeping my fingers crossed.

Then he tried to fix my squealing locks on my car, my CD player (which was broken from the small wire fire we had when he worked on something else in there a long time ago), and replace the small blown out speakers. Everything was accomplished but my locks, which appear to have to be done at the dealership. So, now I can't use my clicker. It's back to the stone ages with manual locking with my very own fingers. This is very hard for someone with mad cow to remember. I will probably get my car stolen sometime soon. Oh and while he was trying to fix all the little issues, he noticed that my back tire was bald. So now I have 4 new tires...another nice expense to go along with the fence. Can you say broke????? I can.

I made it through the second unit of my class. I took off 3 days of work to do it as I hadn't finished reading that stupid book, my grades were due for the class I'm teaching, and I had to set up my mid-spring class. Everything was due on Sunday the 9th. I was pretty sick of the computer by the time it was all over. But, my students got grades, my new students started their class, and I made an A on my unit 2. Wrote my book review with only reading about half the book. Now, I am spending the next 8 weeks doing a research paper. Already have about 20 resources (we had to turn those in the other day) and I'm still looking for more.

I've also made a decision to change my major to Adult and Higher Education. It fits what I do at work. My boss whined and griped about me choosing the leadership degree. She doesn't like it. Well I didn't care because that plan fit my life. What I have found, is I don't like it. My hesitation had to do with class times and spending even more time away from my family. But I spoke with my boss today, and she said she is willing to work with me. About 4 of my co-workers are in grad school right now, so she is concerned about scheduling. I think I am excited somewhere in all this nervousness. I read all the course descriptions and it is stuff I deal with every day. I think it will feel so much more relevant and not a waste of my hard earned money. So, that is one of my spring break projects....fill out the application and get my major switched. Chance is a bit distressed about money and the strain on the family, but he tells me as long as I get us cheap football tickets, he will live with it.

Had a good week at Weight Watchers. Lost 2.2 pounds for a total of 11.2. I am pretty sure I will go up again this week. Have not eaten as good as I should. Taking a friend with me this Sunday. Hope she joins.

So that's about it. Plans for spring break are as follows:

• We have a family birthday party on Sunday and lunch with mom and dad on Monday while Chance works.
• Wednesday, Taylor is having surgery on her wisdom teeth. That is the day she goes to visit with her mom for the second half of the break, so her mom will be taking care of post-op.
• Tristan will be going to spend the night with grandma and grandpa that day and I hear they are taking him to see Horton. (Taylor saw it tonight and said it was really good. So I guess if a 15 year old likes it, he will too.)
• We plan to have an adult evening while the kids are gone. We have several friends coming over for a party and we are going to enjoy some drinks, food and play some games. We are going to get silly and I will probably regret it the next morning but I haven't had play time in a long time. I plan to enjoy every second of it.
• Friday, Tristan goes for ADHD testing. We will NOT be putting him on drugs. We need an attention diagnosis to get him an IEP at school. He is responding well to small group activities and he's finally doing the work he should have been doing all year. So his teacher can get him more help if we get the diagnosis. It's lots of hoops when they can already clearly see what he responds too, but I will follow the rules.
• In between all that, I will be grading, working on a scrapbook for a friend, and working on my research paper. Not to mention laundry and cleaning and all that jive.

After reading this, I am not sure I planned any relaxing times. Hmmmm....I think I may have gotten the idea of spring break wrong! Oh well, I won't be at work. That is the beauty of it all.

Toodles.

I am excited

I had a pretty good weekend. Got quite a bit of grading done. Not as much homework, but that is next after I check what I need to check on the puter. I survived eating at the big family dinner and had a great day at WW today!

I had a great time visiting with everyone at the dinner. It was good to see Phil and Jackie. We don't get to see them enough. And what a bonus to see Chara, Josh, and Jonah! I have been dying to see that little guy! I was hoping they would come and they did. I wish we could have visited a bit more, but it was crazy with all those people. Randy and Susan got to come. This time, I got to sit near them and catch up. That was fantastic! I am so mad I forgot to bring my camera. I really meant to. I think Moms had a wonderful time anyway. I am thinking next time we get together, we need to find a place where we can have a small room just to ourselves. Then we could be loud and holler across the tables and everything. I will be working on finding a place we can do that next time.

So today was a very good day at WW. I got yelled at really bad by Christy for drinking a coke the other day. I had mexican food one day at my favorite mexican restaurant. But other than that, I tried to stay on track. I guess it worked...I lost 3 pounds this week. The most of any week since I've joined. That 3 pounds got me to 10.6 pounds overall so I got another star. I was excited. I am getting closer to my 10% and that feels really good. Oh and I bought the points calculator. Susan showed me hers at dinner and I decided I need one too. It should be much easier. Now, if I can just fit in that exercise, I should be losing faster. I think I've said that before haven't I?

Last night when we got home from dinner, Tristan asked for a dessert. I began to show him the wide variety of "healthy" 100 calorie desserts we now have. He looked me in the eye and said, "Mama. I want some real cookies." Well guess you can't fool kids too long on eating stuff that's good for them. So, I bought him some real ones today.

Well, I don't have much more to say at the moment. I need to get my laundry out and get my nose in my book for class. Have a paper to write and can't do that if I don't get the book read. I am reading about Intelligences...and how there are many. It's so fascinating I find myself "zombie reading". That's Chance's term for looking at the words but not comprehending a thing. It's just not my cup of tea. B O R I N G!!!!

Until next time.
B

Just a quick note...

Today was the first day of my 4th week of Weight Watchers. So I've just finished 3 solid weeks. I have lost a total of 7.6 pounds. I couldn't wait until the end of my month to measure myself as my plan suggests so I did tonite anyway.

I have lost 1 inch in my arms.
I have lost 2.5 inches in my waist.
I have lost 1.5 inches in my hips.
And I have lost 1 inch in my thighs.

And I haven't really exercised yet. I need to start.
I am happy!

In over my head

Time sure seems to fly when you really want it to slow down. Today ended week 2 of class...the one I teach and the one I'm taking. Also it is the last day of week 2 of me being on Weight Watchers. Oh time flies.

First, it's week 2 of the class I'm teaching. I've been trying to keep up with grading but I'm more behind that I want. I have some updates to post for week 3 and still have week 1 journals left to grade. I didn't even open it once today - been too busy with family life. That is not good.

Second, I am taking that grad course. I am in way over my head. You ought to see the papers my classmates are writing. I feel like I'm in elementary school. It has been 8 years since I have written any type of scholarly paper. I can write for work, but man, I am so out of practice for class. One guy had about 5 words in his "ice breaker" paper that I've never seen in my life. Am I supposed to know such words???? I am really hoping he went overkill on that assignment. I had a good friend who has graduated from the program read my icebreaker paper and she just shook her head and marked all over it. She tells me I'm in grad school and have to write like I am. Oh man...in over my head. Her points were all valid. So here I am at the end of week 2 with only one paper that really needs to be rewritten done. I have 2 more weeks to get 6 papers done. I am so not able to spend 5 - 15 hours a week on this class. I spend that much teaching if not more. Again...in over my head.

On the bright side, I conducted my interview with an international student from Uzbekistan for my reportorial paper. I have to compare a foreign educational system to the US. I spent about 20 minutes with my student. He told me to call him if I thought of other questions or needed to be reminded of anything he said. He was nice. I open my OU email tonight and find a classmate has posted her paper. She spent 2 hours with her person. Let's think about that....2 hours/20 minutes. Hmmmm....I am at the elementary level. What am I thinking trying to go to grad school??? I thought I was fairly book smart prior to starting this class. But now...I am feeling like I need to go back and do my Bachelor program over. Hell all the grammar stuff I am supposed to be studying is reminding me all of what I forgot. I have never written APA style - always MLA. I am afraid that I am one of those people who take in stuff, keep it in my head for as long as I need it, and then it leaves for the stuff I really like. Looks like I need to follow the study tools I teach in my class. Guess I'll break out that text as well. There will never be enough time in the day to do it all. What was I thinking???

Last but not least, tomorrow I go to WW for the start of my 3rd week and 3rd weigh in. I have been doing so well this week. Today I woke up and weighed 6 pounds less than I weighed in last Sunday. Yay! Tried my best to eat well at home...save up those points for the movies. Got a smaller popcorn, drank a small coke along with my water, and some gummies. When I got home, I weighed 5 pounds more than this morning. What was I thinking there?? I had made such good progress. My goal was to lose 3 pounds this week. Now, I'm truly expecting a gain. I didn't even eat all my popcorn. Oh I will be so mad at myself if I go up. I've only had 2 cokes since I started WW- both small. I've only drank water. That's it. Water Water Water. I'm trying so hard. I don't think I've ever really tried like I have been on this. I'm competing with Chance sorta - at least on daily points. I can see that I might actually be successful with it as long as I don't go to the movies very often!

Well not much else to report. Helped Taylor pick classes for high school. She said she's pretty excited. I hope she keeps it. She's going to have to study more. I hope she sticks with it. We have high school parent night on Tuesday. That should be interesting.

Oh guess I do have more to report. They have been working on our house this week. Got our new fireplace which was not so easy to replace. There was dust and soot everywhere. They found a few dead birds in there. That made me sad. The tube that goes up the chimney was all rotted and had holes all up it. The fireplace guy said that is because they cemented the very top of our fireplace instead of using metal. Cement makes moisture get trapped in there and it rusted out our tube. But it's in. They replaced all the burnt boards. Decided not to put any more across the face of it as they weren't supporting anything anyway. This will hopefully prevent future fire. They also didn't put any sheetrock back in to prevent fire as well. The brick was put in yesterday. On monday, they will fix the hole in the ceiling, replace insulation, repaint the ceiling and my book shelves. The new mantel will be put on as well. Then it will be complete. Carpet comes after that. Need to get that all set up. That will not be fun as they want us to put our entire house in the garage so they can lay it all in one day. So I'm collecting boxes. It will feel like we are moving. I'm buying food and drink and anyone who wants to help can come over. I'll let you know what day it will be. ;o)

Guess I should go do some work. Tomorrow will be a busy day.

XXXOOO
B

The hospital

Things have been busy as they normally are this time of year. Nothing out of the ordinary other than my adding grad school to the picture. But that hasn't even started yet (tomorrow is the big day) although I have already been working on it. So much to my surprise, I ended up in the hospital last Wednesday evening.

I woke up that day with a heavy feeling on my chest and my neck felt like it was swollen or puffy. It felt just plain weird. I thought it was because I didn't get enough sleep. I was tired. By the end of the day the heaviness was worse and I had a bad dizzy spell. Then I just stayed light headed. I felt so weird - it wasn't right. So I decided I had to get to a doctor right away. Ended up going to the ER... my blood pressure and pulse were way up. That's never happened before. But since I had heaviness in my chest, they admitted me and treated me as a heart patient. They did all kinds of tests and determined I am healthy. No heart attacks or thyroid problems. All my levels are good. My blood is "thick". So now I have to take aspirin. My regular doctor ordered a CAT scan to check for pulmonary embollisms before I could leave the hospital. That came out good too. So on Thursday, I go for a cardio stress test just to be absolutely sure my heart is OK.

They never really gave me an explanation of what was wrong...we surmise it was a stress event. I didn't feel any more stressed than normal, but I guess that's what it could have been. The doctor, (and my old one too) discussed losing weight with me. Yes, I know I've gained tons of weight. I hate it. I hate how fat I have become but up until now, and I don't know why, I just haven't had the will power to do anything about it. I know I don't exercise like I used to and that is a big factor. We try to eat healthy but there is definitely room to grow there. I drink cokes a lot. Tons...I probably have coke in my system instead of blood. Well, I haven't had one since Wednesday. That is like a major miracle.

Chance decided we are going to make a life change and eat healthier. He's wanting to get rid of his tummy pooch. So, on Friday, he signed me up for Weight Watchers. I didn't have a choice in the matter other than I wanted to attend the meetings rather than online so I would have accountability. Today was my first meeting. There is alot to take in. I think I can do well because I can eat whatever I want. I just have to measure and add points on everything. That part sucks. But if I know I'm not restricting myself, I think I will do fine. I am scared about it. Not sure if I will keep up with the counting and weighing. But I must. I need to lose all this weight.

I now have books and journals and 100 calorie snack things. I have more salad and veggies in my fridge than normal. He's keeping track of points too so that will help me. He's surprised at how the fast food adds up. I hate that he eats that crap all the time and doesn't gain weight. He's set up the garage for a home gym. We have the bicycle, the weight bench and the treadmill ready to go. I have to wait until after my cardio test to exercise. But the day after he's pushing me out there.

Today I was pleasantly surprised to find out I had lost around 4 or 5 pounds since I went in the hospital. That hasn't even been a week. I bought a new WW scale today. It has a memory and keeps track of your weight loss, your BMI, your water level and your bone density. Not sure how it does all that but it goes off the moisture in your feet. Go figure. I just have to figure out how to eat at lunch and I should be good to go.

Well it's late and I should rest for work tomorrow. I will be working alot on my two classes in the evening as well as my WW journal and the exercising. I will do my best to keep writing about my progress.

Later gators.