In over my head

Time sure seems to fly when you really want it to slow down. Today ended week 2 of class...the one I teach and the one I'm taking. Also it is the last day of week 2 of me being on Weight Watchers. Oh time flies.

First, it's week 2 of the class I'm teaching. I've been trying to keep up with grading but I'm more behind that I want. I have some updates to post for week 3 and still have week 1 journals left to grade. I didn't even open it once today - been too busy with family life. That is not good.

Second, I am taking that grad course. I am in way over my head. You ought to see the papers my classmates are writing. I feel like I'm in elementary school. It has been 8 years since I have written any type of scholarly paper. I can write for work, but man, I am so out of practice for class. One guy had about 5 words in his "ice breaker" paper that I've never seen in my life. Am I supposed to know such words???? I am really hoping he went overkill on that assignment. I had a good friend who has graduated from the program read my icebreaker paper and she just shook her head and marked all over it. She tells me I'm in grad school and have to write like I am. Oh man...in over my head. Her points were all valid. So here I am at the end of week 2 with only one paper that really needs to be rewritten done. I have 2 more weeks to get 6 papers done. I am so not able to spend 5 - 15 hours a week on this class. I spend that much teaching if not more. Again...in over my head.

On the bright side, I conducted my interview with an international student from Uzbekistan for my reportorial paper. I have to compare a foreign educational system to the US. I spent about 20 minutes with my student. He told me to call him if I thought of other questions or needed to be reminded of anything he said. He was nice. I open my OU email tonight and find a classmate has posted her paper. She spent 2 hours with her person. Let's think about that....2 hours/20 minutes. Hmmmm....I am at the elementary level. What am I thinking trying to go to grad school??? I thought I was fairly book smart prior to starting this class. But now...I am feeling like I need to go back and do my Bachelor program over. Hell all the grammar stuff I am supposed to be studying is reminding me all of what I forgot. I have never written APA style - always MLA. I am afraid that I am one of those people who take in stuff, keep it in my head for as long as I need it, and then it leaves for the stuff I really like. Looks like I need to follow the study tools I teach in my class. Guess I'll break out that text as well. There will never be enough time in the day to do it all. What was I thinking???

Last but not least, tomorrow I go to WW for the start of my 3rd week and 3rd weigh in. I have been doing so well this week. Today I woke up and weighed 6 pounds less than I weighed in last Sunday. Yay! Tried my best to eat well at home...save up those points for the movies. Got a smaller popcorn, drank a small coke along with my water, and some gummies. When I got home, I weighed 5 pounds more than this morning. What was I thinking there?? I had made such good progress. My goal was to lose 3 pounds this week. Now, I'm truly expecting a gain. I didn't even eat all my popcorn. Oh I will be so mad at myself if I go up. I've only had 2 cokes since I started WW- both small. I've only drank water. That's it. Water Water Water. I'm trying so hard. I don't think I've ever really tried like I have been on this. I'm competing with Chance sorta - at least on daily points. I can see that I might actually be successful with it as long as I don't go to the movies very often!

Well not much else to report. Helped Taylor pick classes for high school. She said she's pretty excited. I hope she keeps it. She's going to have to study more. I hope she sticks with it. We have high school parent night on Tuesday. That should be interesting.

Oh guess I do have more to report. They have been working on our house this week. Got our new fireplace which was not so easy to replace. There was dust and soot everywhere. They found a few dead birds in there. That made me sad. The tube that goes up the chimney was all rotted and had holes all up it. The fireplace guy said that is because they cemented the very top of our fireplace instead of using metal. Cement makes moisture get trapped in there and it rusted out our tube. But it's in. They replaced all the burnt boards. Decided not to put any more across the face of it as they weren't supporting anything anyway. This will hopefully prevent future fire. They also didn't put any sheetrock back in to prevent fire as well. The brick was put in yesterday. On monday, they will fix the hole in the ceiling, replace insulation, repaint the ceiling and my book shelves. The new mantel will be put on as well. Then it will be complete. Carpet comes after that. Need to get that all set up. That will not be fun as they want us to put our entire house in the garage so they can lay it all in one day. So I'm collecting boxes. It will feel like we are moving. I'm buying food and drink and anyone who wants to help can come over. I'll let you know what day it will be. ;o)

Guess I should go do some work. Tomorrow will be a busy day.

XXXOOO
B

The hospital

Things have been busy as they normally are this time of year. Nothing out of the ordinary other than my adding grad school to the picture. But that hasn't even started yet (tomorrow is the big day) although I have already been working on it. So much to my surprise, I ended up in the hospital last Wednesday evening.

I woke up that day with a heavy feeling on my chest and my neck felt like it was swollen or puffy. It felt just plain weird. I thought it was because I didn't get enough sleep. I was tired. By the end of the day the heaviness was worse and I had a bad dizzy spell. Then I just stayed light headed. I felt so weird - it wasn't right. So I decided I had to get to a doctor right away. Ended up going to the ER... my blood pressure and pulse were way up. That's never happened before. But since I had heaviness in my chest, they admitted me and treated me as a heart patient. They did all kinds of tests and determined I am healthy. No heart attacks or thyroid problems. All my levels are good. My blood is "thick". So now I have to take aspirin. My regular doctor ordered a CAT scan to check for pulmonary embollisms before I could leave the hospital. That came out good too. So on Thursday, I go for a cardio stress test just to be absolutely sure my heart is OK.

They never really gave me an explanation of what was wrong...we surmise it was a stress event. I didn't feel any more stressed than normal, but I guess that's what it could have been. The doctor, (and my old one too) discussed losing weight with me. Yes, I know I've gained tons of weight. I hate it. I hate how fat I have become but up until now, and I don't know why, I just haven't had the will power to do anything about it. I know I don't exercise like I used to and that is a big factor. We try to eat healthy but there is definitely room to grow there. I drink cokes a lot. Tons...I probably have coke in my system instead of blood. Well, I haven't had one since Wednesday. That is like a major miracle.

Chance decided we are going to make a life change and eat healthier. He's wanting to get rid of his tummy pooch. So, on Friday, he signed me up for Weight Watchers. I didn't have a choice in the matter other than I wanted to attend the meetings rather than online so I would have accountability. Today was my first meeting. There is alot to take in. I think I can do well because I can eat whatever I want. I just have to measure and add points on everything. That part sucks. But if I know I'm not restricting myself, I think I will do fine. I am scared about it. Not sure if I will keep up with the counting and weighing. But I must. I need to lose all this weight.

I now have books and journals and 100 calorie snack things. I have more salad and veggies in my fridge than normal. He's keeping track of points too so that will help me. He's surprised at how the fast food adds up. I hate that he eats that crap all the time and doesn't gain weight. He's set up the garage for a home gym. We have the bicycle, the weight bench and the treadmill ready to go. I have to wait until after my cardio test to exercise. But the day after he's pushing me out there.

Today I was pleasantly surprised to find out I had lost around 4 or 5 pounds since I went in the hospital. That hasn't even been a week. I bought a new WW scale today. It has a memory and keeps track of your weight loss, your BMI, your water level and your bone density. Not sure how it does all that but it goes off the moisture in your feet. Go figure. I just have to figure out how to eat at lunch and I should be good to go.

Well it's late and I should rest for work tomorrow. I will be working alot on my two classes in the evening as well as my WW journal and the exercising. I will do my best to keep writing about my progress.

Later gators.