A Motherhood Reflection

I am not a morning person and never have been. When I was younger, my mother would come in to wake me up or would get on to me if I got back in bed after my alarm went off. She would be standing there all perky and alert acting as if I was absolutely off my rocker for being unable to get up. I would lay there and wonder how in the world she could get up so early every day and appear as if it were 5:00 in the afternoon. I thought there had to be seriously wrong with her and just knew there would be no way in the world I would EVER get up early every single day and be awake and alert. NEVER!!!

This week has been absolutely exhausting for me. I'm on emotional overload, not getting enough sleep, and very stressed with many things pulling me in different directions. Yet, at 6 a.m. every morning, I am the one who has to get up and get everyone else up. I am running on empty.

This morning I'm standing in the middle of Tristan's room, explaining to him that he can in fact get up whether he's tired or not. That if he just tries, it will get easier as he moves around. That we all have our priorities for the day and must get them done. That the clock stops for no one and we have to be there on time. I'm trying to appear awake and alert. Inside, I am so tired and want to crawl back in bed. I don't even know how much longer I'm going to be able to stand still without falling asleep standing up.

And then....my mother appears in my head. I see her standing there telling me the same stuff. I suddenly realize that maybe she felt exactly the same way I did at that exact moment. Maybe she wasn't as insane as I originally thought! She was just doing her motherly duty. Then I look down at my son and he is looking at me as if I am the craziest person he's ever seen. He thinks I have no clue how he feels and that it is impossible to get up as I have asked. He is thinking, he will never get up every day that early and be ready to go like his mother.

Ahh...the circle of life.